Tuesday, March 18, 2014

insomnia soul mate

Last spring I was having a lot of trouble getting sleep; I was adjusting back to life in the States, worried about decisions regarding my senior year and overwhelmed with course work and extra-curriculars.  Where one would think this would cause excessive exhaustion and over-sleeping, instead the same kind of insomnia I had in my second year at Westminster returned.  So, when I have insomnia, I fall into a state of mind that straddles the dream world and the waking world.  When this happens, I usually have really weird thoughts like this that I manage to somewhat coherently, albeit blindly, type into my iPhone's notes.  I just discovered this one a couple of weeks ago (yep, didn't even know I'd written it) and thought I'd pass it along. Not necessarily profound, but I have always wondered what people mean when they use the word 'soul mate' and I think this was my unconscious trying to create a definition.

4:33 am: I've always wondered if a soul mate is someone who fills the gaps that exist in our lives or if that person has the same holes in his/hers and they'd help each other understand how to handle those voids because they have a lot in common. Or maybe it's neither. Maybe that person is willing to be with you through every hard time or over-dramatic breakdown. Maybe that person sticks by your side whether it's helping pick out the wallpaper for your bedroom or holding your hand when your grandmother passes away. Maybe that person doesn't solve your problems, but offers their coat when you cry so much you get the chills. And understands you sometimes have those mornings where you get really mad over a spilt cup of coffee but laughs and grabs a paper towel for you. Maybe that person is willing to listen to you complain about the end of a TV show or to forgive you when you missed their mom's birthday. Maybe that person knows you so well that they can tell just from one look what kind of day you've had at work or what's on your mind. Maybe that person makes life easier just by simply being in their presence.  Maybe that person never gives up on you even when you've made an awful mistake. And maybe that person doesn't ever walk away even if they feel like they can't keep going. But that person realizes giving up is pointless and that working through a problem will bring them closer together.

A soul mate. Sounds pretty lovely to me.