geeking out

i'm currently geeking out. but not the good kind. i'm not geeking out over a new ep of psych or community. i'm not geeking out over a bowl of ben & jerry's. i'm geeking out because i'm reading a stephen king novel-and it's scaring the CRAP out of me.

back in the day, as in my elementary-early high school years, i would freak out if any creak was made in my house while home alone.  i'd lock every door, window and proceed to place a chair in front of my door until my mom came home from work.  i would crank the music-but not too loud that it would block out the noise of an intruder. my cell phone would be clutched by my side.  i'd be cuddled under a blanket in my room, reading a book to try and remind myself that i wasn't home alone. the bathroom was never an option. forget about it. if i needed to pee, i'd find a place in my room to relieve myself.

now that i am 19 years of age and soon to be 20, i find myself once more in that vulnerable position.  i can honestly say it has been at least 3 years since i have been frightened while home alone, but tonight, is an exception. i'm freaking out just looking outside my window to look for my mom's car because i keep catching glimpses of my cat.  the house is dead silent but i keep hearing creaks, furnaces turning on, ice makers doing their job, and my heart beating way louder than it should be.  and it's all because i'm reading my first stephen king novel ever: the pet sematary.

First of all, my cat looks just like the one described in the novel.  Second of all, I live in a house by a busy route, with woods to my right that used to be explored frequently by me and my brother.  Third of all, the mom kinda reminds me of my mom. And the dad kinda of my dad. So that's enough to make the book scary. I'm only on page 78 and the scary part hasn't even happened yet-it's still building up! But my dad claims this is the scariest novel he has ever read and still thinks of it sometimes. he advised me not to read it but when someone tells me not to do something, i usually end up doing it because i'm curious.  he said i would have nightmares and would freak out owning a cat. so this is definitely a book for me, considering i love cats and have insomnia already on a daily basis. 

here i sit. drinking a weird concoction my mom made for me because i had a crap day: orange juice, raspberry cranberry juice and cotton candy vodka. literally tastes JUST like gummi worms. so weird. this might also be causing me to bug out a little bit. it's 2 a.m. and my mom still isn't home. my body aches. my heart is gonna pound out of my chest. i have to pee. i need a glass of water. i want to go to sleep. but there is no way i can do any of this until my mom gets home. i'm on lock down because i'm geeking out over a horror story.

welcome to my sad life,

hill