Wednesday, June 13, 2012

is there something in my teeth?

This was me. A week ago. 
I have a tendency to exaggerate, often. But I am not being dramatic about this. 
Well, maybe about being a chipmunk. 
But my cheeks were like this. 
And you know which cheeks I mean. 

I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted, that is the fancy word they use rather than pulled or yanked, on Friday 8th. I must say I have never had any fear of any doctors visits. I'm kind of a professional (hold that thought...) So, I wasn't too concerned about getting my teeth cut out of my face, it just seemed like an annoying waste of time. 

So I lied on the couch chair bed thing they cooked up for dentists office and remember getting an IV aaaaaand that it. 
Then I woke up. 
Aaaaaaand that's all I remember. Well not exactly. I remember asking my dentist if I could swallow (his answer thankfully was yes) and they brought my mom in.  I gave her a dorky thumbs up and pulled the ice pack away from my face and started like, man laughing, a hearty huh huh huh kinda laugh. Then I jumped up from the chair, proud of myself (was gently reprimanded my the dentist and my mother for moving too quickly) and then sat in the car and then I fell asleep. 

But apparently I didn't fall asleep immediately. I talked with my mom a bit. And no, I don't remember any of this. I kept asking if I could drink something. By nature I am a thirsty girl, I drink water all the time, so this is normal. Mom said I had to wait till I got home. Then I asked, "Am I more coherent than Justine was?" Apparently, deep in my heart there is some sort of sibling rivalry. (The answer was, yes, by-the-way. My sister just repeatedly asked, "Did you know nitrous oxide is Laughing Gas?" Chemistry major...)  
And apparently deep in my heart I am slightly narcissistic, before falling asleep I told my mom that the nurse giving me my IV told me I was "professional" at getting blood drawn. But "professional" sounded something like "pro-fesch-un- ul."

Now, there is a special diet for wisdomless people, here is mine (I don't recommend this. try weight watchers if your desperate) 
Day One: Nothing. I just went to bed
Day Two: Applesauce, mashed potatoes, chocolate/vanilla pudding, water


Day Two (night time): I began to feel nauseated. Then I threw up 5 times. Then I threw up 5 more times. And to spare you the dry-heaving details, this continued until mom and dad took me to the emergency room. Then I was asked if I took street drugs, if I spoke English and if I felt threatened at home? (By the way all the answers to those are 'no')

Then they gave me anti-nausea meds and pumped me full of liquids, after they drained my vein and had to poke another one. Then texted my boyfriend to tell him I was most certainly going to die (I am a very dramatic sick person). Then I fell asleep. Then I woke up, drank grape juice. Went home (circa 4:30am) and slept til noon the next day. 

Day Three-Day Six: Applesauce and veggie soup
Day Seven: Pizza Pub Pizza (and a severely bad toothache afterward) but it's the Pub Pizza. It's worth it. 
I must say, even today I am still nibbling like a baby bird but I can at least open my mouth. 
At least its a good excuse to eat more ice cream.

chipmunks are cute, don't even pretend they are not, 

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